I was sitting at an Iftar, and confessing to a friend that I did not fast again this year, due to health reasons or were they excuses, my soul whispered?
Iftars are the breaking of the fast from sunrise to sunset which is done communally at homes, mosques and even restaurants during Ramadan amongst family and friends
Last year I had kept almost all 30, although the last 4 had to be missed due to guess what- same health issues again! I was telling her how I miss the missing of food and drink. Of course we talked about fidya.
Fidya is money or food equivalent for 3 meals to the needy for each fast missed, which I am practicing.
What I miss the most is the opening of the fast feeling- an immense sea of gratitude, humility, abundance overwhelms you as you taste food and drink after 13 (these days) or even 16 hours (in summer months) of fasting. The custom is open your fast with a date and water as Prophet Muhammed did 14 centuries ago. Then you do the sunset prayer, which is 3 units and 2 units, and is over in 5 minutes. As you put your forehead to the ground in each unit to remind you of life’s transience and that we come from the Earth and will go back to it, peace overcomes you. All the worries and present problems go away and inner peace descends.
Then you are served several appetizers, which varies with each ethnicity, soup and salad, followed by dinner. In my Turkish mosque, the dinner is simple, one rice dish and one meat dish, then dessert. You eat very very slowly savoring every bite. I call it mindful eating, something we relearn every year.
The first thought is of all the people who do not have their basic needs met all across the globe and especially in war areas, where they are being deliberately starved, something unimaginable to those of us lucky enough to be safe. The lack of something enhances its abundance when it becomes available, and as more people are thinking and acting towards minimalism, we are reminded of the value of “lack”- it is not a bad thing, it can be a very good teacher.
There is something so deep and beautiful about abstaining from what you are naturally and automatically driven to do. The whole purpose of Ramadan is to cleanse your soul and re-examine your life to see if you are doing the best as a human being that you can be, do and think. The first 10 days are focused on mercy, the second 10 days are about forgiveness and atonement and the last 10 days are all about spiritual intensity and salvation. I give all of my zakat during the last 10 days of Ramadan, as do most Muslims around the world.
Zakat is the 2.5% of community tax on your assets that are due to the needy every year.
The way I have adapted my fasting this year to my health downturn is to think of other things that are my happy places and activities- going to a café with a good book and having a coffee and a croissant; meeting up with friends in a restaurant or café to just be with other, and yes to also help and coach each other; shopping for something to brighten your wardrobe; traveling for vacation; so as I faced most of Ramadan without being able to participate, I made an intention to abstain from these and other activities. I also decided to eat less and drink more water, which is good for any health situation. There are days when I am about to head to a mall, and I stop myself and it feels so good to stop and question my action. Hopefully, I can carry that habit forward outside of Ramadan. The tendency to automatically accumulate is what has our poor planet in such a confused state. What Ramadan does is teach you mindfulness in everything.
Am I able to tame my ego as much with this adaptive form as with the real deal? That is the question I am engaged in. I know many friends who are fasting and abstaining from many material obsessions just like me. Instead of pleasing our egos, we shift to give to those who have less materiality than we do or even worse, their lives are in real scary danger. My daughter for example is decluttering her whole home as an act of Ramadan. My daughter-in-law also decided to stop shopping . My grandkids are eager to fast, and are allowed half-day fasts as it is not incumbent upon them until puberty age.
So, as we go into the last 10 days, the most intense spiritually, with long nights of prayer and some nights of all night prayers, I will be participating in those but still feeling sad that I could not fully participate in this global communal action that reminds Muslims to be humble, generous, merciful, forgiving and self-examining even after Ramadan. I hope I can participate next year in the fullest manner. But for now, I will still go to iftar parties and celebrate Eid on April 10 with one billion plus Muslims worldwide. I am so grateful for this blessed gift that we get for our own soul’s growth and beautification. Sorry dear soul if I cheated you of this cleansing opportunity this year! May I be blessed to participate next year.
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