How an accident gave me a chance to see my future
A week after my horrible fall in New York City which broke my lower left leg and ankle, and the reconstructive surgery after it, I was taken in an ambulance to a rehab center near my house, so my husband could come and go easily. I was so happy about the location as it was familiar and suburban with greenery around it.
When I arrived late at night, I was wheeled into my room by the ambulance people. As I looked around the floor, each room door was open. In every room there were two very elderly people talking, shouting, watching loud TV, coughing, moaning, etc. I thought I was in the movie “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, and I was so upset and told my husband to get me out of there secretly in the car. The aides who came to settle me in looked like zombies, who were overworked and tired themselves. On top of it, the door to my room would not close properly. So all night I had to play white noise to reduce the hall noise. I was totally miserable that first night.
The next morning, aides came to help me dress and clean up. Then after breakfast, a cheery OT (Occupational Therapy) professional assessed my mobility and taught me how to use wheelchair, walker, etc. That was followed by another cheery PT (Physical Therapy) professional who took me to the gym to start exercising my arms and the good leg. The gym was cheerful and light and bright. And there were motivating signs everywhere. More and more activities were added to my daily schedule to socialize, pass the time and learn new skills, like gardening.
As I looked around at all the patients, I began to see what can happen to the human body over time or suddenly by accident. It is sobering and overwhelming. We don’t know when disease or accidents will hurt our body. It can be severe and life-altering. As I looked at my left broken leg, I thanked God I had not hit my head or hips. I also felt ashamed of feeling like such a victim when I saw those around me, mostly white folks in their 90’s. My accident happened on my 71st birthday evening right before the celebration. Cheered on by the wonderful staff, nurses and aides, they all did as much as they could given their condition trying to smile through it all. That also made me smile and take heart. I realized and felt that the human spirit transcends all- the body, its limitations, its pains, its losses. It reaches upwards deep into the Universe to breathe in the strength and courage to go forward no matter what has happened to your body. I also kept thinking of all the earthquake victims, whether in Turkey or Morocco, or the flooding victims in Libya, who had to go on not just with injuries but no homes to go back to or worse, lost family members stealing the very basis of emotional support from their healing process. As I got to socialize with patients, I began to hear wonderful stories about their lives.
Each elder is a spirit with a lifetime of experience. Just today, a Russian woman started to explain to me her grandfather’s history in Estonia, Belarus and other places. It sounded fascinating. Tomorrow I will tell her my grandfather’s story how he escaped India during Partition and luckily did not get killed as 2 M other people did due to callous British Raj’s sudden departure.
I felt lucky that my husband visits me several times a day, and luckier still that he is healthy. I feel lucky that my four children take turns visiting me, no matter how far they live and inspire me to keep strong. And luckier still for all our friends and the larger community who send food, flowers and well wishes every day. I am finding new uses for my Google calendar here in Rehab! I also am so lucky to finally have more time to read and write, which is my passion.
It is wonderful to know that we live in a country with the best medical care and the most advanced technologies. When that is combined with caring and dedicated professionals, it is a huge reassurance for those in our senior years. Getting a sneak preview into this world of elder care helped me appreciate all the systems that have been set up to make this possible. And yes, we hear about all the bad “nursing homes” that are out there. As we enter our 90’s we will need more money and insurance to get high-quality care. We can only hope that we value our elders enough to ensure dignity, respect and loving care for our elders no matter which socio-economic level. It is not until we see it that we believe it. This is our future, and we can begin preparing for it now. The most important preparation is to live life fully while we can. Some of our friends went all around Europe sending back wonderful pictures, and that is the best form of preparation.
Bill Perkins urges us to spend our hard-earned money now to do all that we always wanted, rather than saving it up for a nursing home. I had two or three trips planned over the next 6 months- they are just postponed – that’s all!
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