I wish all of you a fun, light and love-filled day as you celebrate love in your life. I hope you give as much love as you can and enjoy the pampering from young and old you are lucky to receive! Any holiday that celebrates love is beautiful, so make it an amazingly beautiful day!
In the West, Valentine’s Day has historically been about romantic love, but thankfully now is expanding to celebrate love as a gift from all your loved ones. I remember when I was dating Shahid 50 years ago, he came over to our Queens apartment while I was in college and left flowers and six saris in my room! Wow, I said, not knowing that after marriage romantic love would not be quite as flamboyant! As we get wiser, we see that demonstration does not make the action more sincere. Actually, in Eastern societies traditionalists and modernists clash at Valentine Day’s celebrations, as it is seen as selfish, sinful and perhaps too vain because of its sole focus on romantic love.
I have always been curious about this holiday. What are its origins? From gruesome Roman beheadings of Christian saints to Chaucer’s celebration of birds mating in mid-February to the modern marketeer’s dream of selling tons of chocolates and flowers by playing on emotions of romantic love- it is hard to say why and how it became such a big deal. Sufis believe that love is the essence of our soul, it melts away the me and the we, so there would really be no need to demonstrate one’s affection, no need to give or expect “stuff” in a relationship of love. As a way of being, love envelops a relationship and community with its light with no need to be shown off. As the Persian poet Hafiz said so long ago:
“Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,
“You owe me.”
Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.”
We were invited to a Valentine Day Friends Dinner at the Babar’s – a lovely and intimate setting after many years of solitude during COVID. The décor, the music and the food were superb – especially the ceremony of gifting a teddy bear and rose from each husband to their wife! It also reminded us of what we had missed for so long- the companionship and love of friends. It was a perfect way to start the re-normalization of life, or adoption of a very changed way of life. We are all changed by the COVID era, and it is up to us to learn the lessons that we want to take from it. But certainly, we hope that in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, we are more loving and more kind to each other and why not kick it off with Valentine’s Day celebrations? Mask mandates are about to change, and so there is anticipation and excitement in the air! Let’s hope a more loving humanity lights up the future even as we struggle with the harsh economic impacts of the COVID era!
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