There is a saying that if you are going to say something, say something that adds beauty and grace to the moment. Otherwise stay silent. I love this reminder, even though I don’t follow it many times and always repent, and certainly am the first to say sorry. We live in each moment and we can make the moment beautiful by harnessing our thoughts, words and actions in the right direction. In fact, our Sufi teacher shared a hadith that said that “time is Allah”, meaning that the Divine grants us these moments to honor and beautify, and the rest is up to us. We can waste our time bringing the past into the present, or worrying about the future. Obviously, imagining a new or brighter future goal or desire is a powerful act, and is encouraged to motivate us in the present. But in the end, it is each moment that makes up our life. In fact, Eckhart Tolle wrote a book called the Power of Now, with the exact same teachings from Christianity and Buddhism, showing again the universality of all spiritual traditions.
This reminder has been deepened in me in recent COVID years and even recent months as we have been visited by sad news of some type or another. Most recently, our community has been shocked by the back-to-back deaths of a young mother – Umbreen Chaudhury- followed by her mother- Suraiya Chaudhury- the very next morning; Suraiya was a very popular and beloved member of our community, and we honored her memory in global Zoom calls, as we continue to support Saif and Zishan the two sons of each mother left behind. A week before my husband’s sister-in-law Phool Bhabi – a sweet, quiet and kind soul- passed on due to GI issues complications, a few months before her grandson’s planned wedding in January 2022.
We have also had the joyous moments of our enjoying our children’s lives as adults and parents and their accomplishments; new grandchildren being born and growing up and reaching milestones; friendships deepening and flourishing and relishing each shared moment. Life teaches us that joy and sadness go together like hand in glove. And it behooves us not to dwell only on the loss or the joy too much, but on the process of transience and constant recycling of all living beings. These days as I go for my meditative walks, I see how gracefully leaves drift to the earth to be recycled and to nourish new growth next spring. I think of my mother who we lost on January 1, and how her body is nourishing our planet while her soul is flying out in another universe. It brings me great peace.
As a community, we have honored those who returned to their Creator and supported those who are dealing with disease or other handicaps. In those moments you realize that beauty is not always joy, but is also in the sadness and the burdens of those families. The sadness is teaching us to remember to love and give in every instant; to focus on the good in life; to show compassion, mercy and support and to be grateful and patient always.
It seems in the journey of life, there is no time to ask “why” or “how”, but only to say “now what” and “what can I do in this moment”. It is a tough lesson, and one that needs to be embraced again and again. As Surah Rahman says, which of the Lord’s bounties will ye deny? The sea of gratitude envelops any and all pain or suffering while it beautifies each moment of joy and happiness. As the eternal poem “The Guest House” of Rumi remind us, welcome all of life’s experiences as guests in the house for they are messages from beyond (photo of my sister Sabah Farooq’s Rumi painting).
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