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The Dance Goes On- International Womens Day 2020

As I rest and reflect after being a panelist at an International Women’s Day event today beautifully organized by the volunteer chapter of Brilliant Consulting, I feel a great sense of pride and responsibility. My talk centered around the status of women’s rights. The gender dance has been going on for centuries, and will continue – all we can do is join in and celebrate successes while continuing the work.

Many women around the world are fighting for their basic rights in so many areas. And when it comes to the Muslim majority countries, it is a war of tribalism against our ancient faith and its promises to women.  We, on the other hand, are privileged to have all our rights and confidently lead multi-dimensional lives that a) meet our roles as wives, mothers, etc. to nurture families and b) enrich and nurture our soul to achieve our life purpose. So, our work has to focus on advocacy and direct support, both here and abroad. Afghan women, for example, have taken the slogan “Afghan women will never go back!”  One of my friends Mehreen Zaman mentioned to me that her aunts were the first doctors in Afghanistan in the 50’s…even my aunts Dr. Rasheeda Aryne, Khurshid Viqar and the late Hafiz Rizwani- a sports champion- were career women role models for me in Karachi in 60’s. Pakistan has more women in Parliament than some developed countries, and child marriage as an example has been reduced significantly. This year, Pakistan had very big “Aurat (women)” marches, and there was even some controversy about the slogan “Mera Jism, Meri Marzi”- a very unfortunate and botched translation of the English version “My Body, My Choice”.

I shared my dislike of the term, and proposed that a more inspiring and less belligerent tone would have been to say “hamare haqooq hamen wapis de do” (which means “give us back the rights we were given”) as Islam gave them to us centuries ago!  The audience cheered me on, and I was glad they saw that the Western feminist approach- angry and confrontational- is not meant for Muslim women, who should be intelligent enough to work from within the faith and work with men. Indeed why should we mimic the male behavior of aggression and confrontation, when women can model more nurturing and collaborative behaviors? In any case, gender equality has a long way to go across the World.

We as women should continue to cater to our natural gifts of being giving more than taking, nurturing life, developing young minds, orchestrating the family, caring for extended family, and continue to share these with our partners, who – if they are enlightened- will gladly collaborate and share in these roles. And I already see that beautiful partnership in my children and their spouses. Similarly, as we compete in our careers and other public roles, we should be given equal access and financial compensation based on merit and excellence. So, it is a dance, a process of change and things will evolve from generation to generation.

We as women should also honor the spirit, the talent and the gifts bestowed upon us by our Creator and develop them further to improve society for all humans. This means nurturing ourselves, creating our own visions for the future beyond family and social obligations, and expressing it in the public space when we are ready.  So, as I go to sleep tonight, proud of the progress we have made, and feeling responsible to do much more work in this area, I also rest assured that my daughters- Mona, Sheema, Sonia and Amna and granddaughters – Sevi, Izzy, Nyla- will carry forward the work Inshallah for harmonious and balanced gender roles.

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