Recently, I have been blessed with time to give to my Amijan (mother). Jan is a term of endearment in our language Urdu to express love. I am visiting her for half a week every week, while my husband Shahid is in Pakistan visiting his aging siblings. It is a win-win situation for both of us, and so rewarding as we get to be with treasured family members for a brief while. I feel blessed to be retired and to be able to help out with my mother, and my grandchildren occasionally. Giving back is truly joyful, and on my long drives back and forth to Philly or elsewhere I ponder over the cycle of life a lot.
As a society, we dread death and mourn a long time after our loss. And it is only natural to do so, as the bonds and love that have been established are cut off from physical expression. It is devastating especially when it visits us suddenly. However, when it visits us gradually, we are already our path to acceptance of the parting, as we do not want the loved one to suffer in their ailing bodies unable to feed, clothe, clean themselves; unable to communicate properly and getting frustrated in the prison of the body.
When I look at my mother’s weak body of skin and bones, I am amazed at the human body and the transformations it goes through. It seems only yesterday that she would be scrubbing floors while squatting, standing for hours cooking, sitting for hours into the night sewing. It seems only yesterday that she consoled us when we had issues, and wiped tears from our faces, and now we end up consoling her when she has pain. It seems only yesterday that she would be cooking yummy dishes for us and my Dad’s many parties, serving it and eating last. It seems only yesterday that she would help me with my children’s birth, babyhood and toddlerhood and beyond as the most kind, sweet and caring grandmother. When we are babies or children, we have no idea that one day things will reverse. Life is a cycle and we go again back to where we began- innocent and helpless.
On the one hand, such an experience makes us want to live each day more fully, and on the other hand, it is a reminder to be prepared for any challenges ahead. And no matter what, remember the best of days, the best memories and treasure those only- for it is all so transient. So Happy Valentine’s Day Amijan- may you feel all the love for you from family and friends, far and wide today.
I want to end with the lyrics by Sami Yusuf/Syed Hussein Nasr of the song “Let us not forget”:
Let us not forget who we are, whence we came,
where we shall go;
Let us not forget that pre-eternal day when we bore witness,
Bore witness to His Lordship with a resounding yea,
Which does still echo under the vaults of the celestial realm.
Let us not forget the intimacy of the
Beloved’s embrace,
The warmth of Her bosom when we in union were.
We have now fallen and forgotten who we are,
Wandering on earth with no compass in hand.
But we can remember, so let us not forget.
Let us not forget that although cast in this lowly world,
Although blinded by veils of neglect and heedlessness,
Although forgetfulness our second nature has become,
We are placed here on earth to remember and can remember.
Let us not forget then to remember our Origin and End,
To remember who we really are as we make this journey of earthly life.
Be First to Comment